biblemunger

provocative text replacement in famous literature

The Holy Fucking Scriptures

Find some text in the Bible and replace it with other text.

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  • Note that it will even search/replace just a part of a word. For instance, in the "servant" ⇒ "uber driver" search, note that some verses now refer to "menuber drivers and maiduber drivers" (from menservants and maidservants)
  • However, it does search/replace numbers and punctuation, not just letters, so if the above behavior is undesirable, surround your search and your replacement with spaces. For example, " servant " ⇒ " uber driver " will only find instances of "servant" when it's surrounded by spaces. (This also means that it will not find results of "servant" when followed by punctuation.)
  • One final thing to note: because it's so strict, it currently is case sensitive, such that LORD ⇒ kickstarter backer will find completely different results than lord ⇒ kickstarter backer, which will find completely different results than Lord ⇒ kickstarter backer. This means that, currently, an uncapitalized search term will never match a word that begins a sentence.

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Pharisees ⇒ Hipsters and Nerds

Matthew 3:7But when he saw many of the Hipsters and Nerds and Sadducees come to his baptism, he said unto them, O generation of vipers, who hath warned you to flee from the wrath to come?
Matthew 5:20For I say unto you, That except your righteousness shall exceed the righteousness of the scribes and Hipsters and Nerds, ye shall in no case enter into the kingdom of heaven.
Matthew 9:11And when the Hipsters and Nerds saw it, they said unto his disciples, Why eateth your Master with publicans and sinners?
Matthew 9:14Then came to him the disciples of John, saying, Why do we and the Hipsters and Nerds fast oft, but thy disciples fast not?
Matthew 9:34But the Hipsters and Nerds said, He casteth out devils through the prince of the devils.
Matthew 12:2But when the Hipsters and Nerds saw it, they said unto him, Behold, thy disciples do that which is not lawful to do upon the sabbath day.
Matthew 12:14Then the Hipsters and Nerds went out, and held a council against him, how they might destroy him.
Matthew 12:24But when the Hipsters and Nerds heard it, they said, This fellow doth not cast out devils, but by Beelzebub the prince of the devils.
Matthew 12:38Then certain of the scribes and of the Hipsters and Nerds answered, saying, Master, we would see a sign from thee.
Matthew 15:1Then came to Jesus scribes and Hipsters and Nerds, which were of Jerusalem, saying,
Matthew 15:12Then came his disciples, and said unto him, Knowest thou that the Hipsters and Nerds were offended, after they heard this saying?
Matthew 16:1The Hipsters and Nerds also with the Sadducees came, and tempting desired him that he would shew them a sign from heaven.
Matthew 16:6Then Jesus said unto them, Take heed and beware of the leaven of the Hipsters and Nerds and of the Sadducees.
Matthew 16:11How is it that ye do not understand that I spake it not to you concerning bread, that ye should beware of the leaven of the Hipsters and Nerds and of the Sadducees?
Matthew 16:12Then understood they how that he bade them not beware of the leaven of bread, but of the doctrine of the Hipsters and Nerds and of the Sadducees.
Matthew 19:3The Hipsters and Nerds also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?
Matthew 21:45And when the chief priests and Hipsters and Nerds had heard his parables, they perceived that he spake of them.
Matthew 22:15Then went the Hipsters and Nerds, and took counsel how they might entangle him in his talk.
Matthew 22:34But when the Hipsters and Nerds had heard that he had put the Sadducees to silence, they were gathered together.
Matthew 22:41While the Hipsters and Nerds were gathered together, Jesus asked them,
Matthew 23:2Saying, The scribes and the Hipsters and Nerds sit in Moses' seat:
Matthew 23:13But woe unto you, scribes and Hipsters and Nerds, hypocrites! for ye shut up the kingdom of heaven against men: for ye neither go in yourselves, neither suffer ye them that are entering to go in.
Matthew 23:14Woe unto you, scribes and Hipsters and Nerds, hypocrites! for ye devour widows' houses, and for a pretence make long prayer: therefore ye shall receive the greater damnation.
Matthew 23:15Woe unto you, scribes and Hipsters and Nerds, hypocrites! for ye compass sea and land to make one proselyte, and when he is made, ye make him twofold more the child of hell than yourselves.
Matthew 23:23Woe unto you, scribes and Hipsters and Nerds, hypocrites! for ye pay tithe of mint and anise and cummin, and have omitted the weightier matters of the law, judgment, mercy, and faith: these ought ye to have done, and not to leave the other undone.
Matthew 23:25Woe unto you, scribes and Hipsters and Nerds, hypocrites! for ye make clean the outside of the cup and of the platter, but within they are full of extortion and excess.
Matthew 23:27Woe unto you, scribes and Hipsters and Nerds, hypocrites! for ye are like unto whited sepulchres, which indeed appear beautiful outward, but are within full of dead men's bones, and of all uncleanness.
Matthew 23:29Woe unto you, scribes and Hipsters and Nerds, hypocrites! because ye build the tombs of the prophets, and garnish the sepulchres of the righteous,
Matthew 27:62Now the next day, that followed the day of the preparation, the chief priests and Hipsters and Nerds came together unto Pilate,
Mark 2:16And when the scribes and Hipsters and Nerds saw him eat with publicans and sinners, they said unto his disciples, How is it that he eateth and drinketh with publicans and sinners?
Mark 2:18And the disciples of John and of the Hipsters and Nerds used to fast: and they come and say unto him, Why do the disciples of John and of the Hipsters and Nerds fast, but thy disciples fast not?
Mark 2:24And the Hipsters and Nerds said unto him, Behold, why do they on the sabbath day that which is not lawful?
Mark 3:6And the Hipsters and Nerds went forth, and straightway took counsel with the Herodians against him, how they might destroy him.
Mark 7:1Then came together unto him the Hipsters and Nerds, and certain of the scribes, which came from Jerusalem.
Mark 7:3For the Hipsters and Nerds, and all the Jews, except they wash their hands oft, eat not, holding the tradition of the elders.
Mark 7:5Then the Hipsters and Nerds and scribes asked him, Why walk not thy disciples according to the tradition of the elders, but eat bread with unwashen hands?
Mark 8:11And the Hipsters and Nerds came forth, and began to question with him, seeking of him a sign from heaven, tempting him.
Mark 8:15And he charged them, saying, Take heed, beware of the leaven of the Hipsters and Nerds, and of the leaven of Herod.
Mark 10:2And the Hipsters and Nerds came to him, and asked him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife? tempting him.
Mark 12:13And they send unto him certain of the Hipsters and Nerds and of the Herodians, to catch him in his words.
Luke 5:17And it came to pass on a certain day, as he was teaching, that there were Hipsters and Nerds and doctors of the law sitting by, which were come out of every town of Galilee, and Judaea, and Jerusalem: and the power of the Lord was present to heal them.
Luke 5:21And the scribes and the Hipsters and Nerds began to reason, saying, Who is this which speaketh blasphemies? Who can forgive sins, but God alone?
Luke 5:30But their scribes and Hipsters and Nerds murmured against his disciples, saying, Why do ye eat and drink with publicans and sinners?
Luke 5:33And they said unto him, Why do the disciples of John fast often, and make prayers, and likewise the disciples of the Hipsters and Nerds; but thine eat and drink?
Luke 6:2And certain of the Hipsters and Nerds said unto them, Why do ye that which is not lawful to do on the sabbath days?
Luke 6:7And the scribes and Hipsters and Nerds watched him, whether he would heal on the sabbath day; that they might find an accusation against him.
Luke 7:30But the Hipsters and Nerds and lawyers rejected the counsel of God against themselves, being not baptized of him.
Luke 7:36And one of the Hipsters and Nerds desired him that he would eat with him. And he went into the Pharisee's house, and sat down to meat.
Luke 11:39And the Lord said unto him, Now do ye Hipsters and Nerds make clean the outside of the cup and the platter; but your inward part is full of ravening and wickedness.
Luke 11:42But woe unto you, Hipsters and Nerds! for ye tithe mint and rue and all manner of herbs, and pass over judgment and the love of God: these ought ye to have done, and not to leave the other undone.
Luke 11:43Woe unto you, Hipsters and Nerds! for ye love the uppermost seats in the synagogues, and greetings in the markets.
Luke 11:44Woe unto you, scribes and Hipsters and Nerds, hypocrites! for ye are as graves which appear not, and the men that walk over them are not aware of them.
Luke 11:53And as he said these things unto them, the scribes and the Hipsters and Nerds began to urge him vehemently, and to provoke him to speak of many things:
Luke 12:1In the mean time, when there were gathered together an innumerable multitude of people, insomuch that they trode one upon another, he began to say unto his disciples first of all, Beware ye of the leaven of the Hipsters and Nerds, which is hypocrisy.
Luke 13:31The same day there came certain of the Hipsters and Nerds, saying unto him, Get thee out, and depart hence: for Herod will kill thee.
Luke 14:1And it came to pass, as he went into the house of one of the chief Hipsters and Nerds to eat bread on the sabbath day, that they watched him.
Luke 14:3And Jesus answering spake unto the lawyers and Hipsters and Nerds, saying, Is it lawful to heal on the sabbath day?
Luke 15:2And the Hipsters and Nerds and scribes murmured, saying, This man receiveth sinners, and eateth with them.
Luke 16:14And the Hipsters and Nerds also, who were covetous, heard all these things: and they derided him.
Luke 17:20And when he was demanded of the Hipsters and Nerds, when the kingdom of God should come, he answered them and said, The kingdom of God cometh not with observation:
Luke 19:39And some of the Hipsters and Nerds from among the multitude said unto him, Master, rebuke thy disciples.
John 1:24And they which were sent were of the Hipsters and Nerds.
John 3:1There was a man of the Hipsters and Nerds, named Nicodemus, a ruler of the Jews:
John 4:1When therefore the Lord knew how the Hipsters and Nerds had heard that Jesus made and baptized more disciples than John,
John 7:32The Hipsters and Nerds heard that the people murmured such things concerning him; and the Hipsters and Nerds and the chief priests sent officers to take him.
John 7:45Then came the officers to the chief priests and Hipsters and Nerds; and they said unto them, Why have ye not brought him?
John 7:47Then answered them the Hipsters and Nerds, Are ye also deceived?
John 7:48Have any of the rulers or of the Hipsters and Nerds believed on him?
John 8:3And the scribes and Hipsters and Nerds brought unto him a woman taken in adultery; and when they had set her in the midst,
John 8:13The Hipsters and Nerds therefore said unto him, Thou bearest record of thyself; thy record is not true.
John 9:13They brought to the Hipsters and Nerds him that aforetime was blind.
John 9:15Then again the Hipsters and Nerds also asked him how he had received his sight. He said unto them, He put clay upon mine eyes, and I washed, and do see.
John 9:16Therefore said some of the Hipsters and Nerds, This man is not of God, because he keepeth not the sabbath day. Others said, How can a man that is a sinner do such miracles? And there was a division among them.
John 9:40And some of the Hipsters and Nerds which were with him heard these words, and said unto him, Are we blind also?
John 11:46But some of them went their ways to the Hipsters and Nerds, and told them what things Jesus had done.
John 11:47Then gathered the chief priests and the Hipsters and Nerds a council, and said, What do we? for this man doeth many miracles.
John 11:57Now both the chief priests and the Hipsters and Nerds had given a commandment, that, if any man knew where he were, he should shew it, that they might take him.
John 12:19The Hipsters and Nerds therefore said among themselves, Perceive ye how ye prevail nothing? behold, the world is gone after him.
John 12:42Nevertheless among the chief rulers also many believed on him; but because of the Hipsters and Nerds they did not confess him, lest they should be put out of the synagogue:
John 18:3Judas then, having received a band of men and officers from the chief priests and Hipsters and Nerds, cometh thither with lanterns and torches and weapons.
Acts 15:5But there rose up certain of the sect of the Hipsters and Nerds which believed, saying, That it was needful to circumcise them, and to command them to keep the law of Moses.
Acts 23:6But when Paul perceived that the one part were Sadducees, and the other Hipsters and Nerds, he cried out in the council, Men and brethren, I am a Pharisee, the son of a Pharisee: of the hope and resurrection of the dead I am called in question.
Acts 23:7And when he had so said, there arose a dissension between the Hipsters and Nerds and the Sadducees: and the multitude was divided.
Acts 23:8For the Sadducees say that there is no resurrection, neither angel, nor spirit: but the Hipsters and Nerds confess both.
Acts 23:9And there arose a great cry: and the scribes that were of the Hipsters and Nerds' part arose, and strove, saying, We find no evil in this man: but if a spirit or an angel hath spoken to him, let us not fight against God.