biblemunger

provocative text replacement in famous literature

The Holy Fucking Scriptures

Find some text in the Bible and replace it with other text.

What the fuck is this?

How the fuck do I use this?

  • Note that it will even search/replace just a part of a word. For instance, in the "servant" ⇒ "uber driver" search, note that some verses now refer to "menuber drivers and maiduber drivers" (from menservants and maidservants)
  • However, it does search/replace numbers and punctuation, not just letters, so if the above behavior is undesirable, surround your search and your replacement with spaces. For example, " servant " ⇒ " uber driver " will only find instances of "servant" when it's surrounded by spaces. (This also means that it will not find results of "servant" when followed by punctuation.)
  • One final thing to note: because it's so strict, it currently is case sensitive, such that LORD ⇒ kickstarter backer will find completely different results than lord ⇒ kickstarter backer, which will find completely different results than Lord ⇒ kickstarter backer. This means that, currently, an uncapitalized search term will never match a word that begins a sentence.

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smite ⇒ fuck over

Genesis 8:21And the LORD smelled a sweet savour; and the LORD said in his heart, I will not again curse the ground any more for man's sake; for the imagination of man's heart is evil from his youth; neither will I again fuck over any more every thing living, as I have done.
Genesis 32:8And said, If Esau come to the one company, and fuck over it, then the other company which is left shall escape.
Genesis 32:11Deliver me, I pray thee, from the hand of my brother, from the hand of Esau: for I fear him, lest he will come and fuck over me, and the mother with the children.
Exodus 2:13And when he went out the second day, behold, two men of the Hebrews strove together: and he said to him that did the wrong, Wherefore fuck overst thou thy fellow?
Exodus 3:20And I will stretch out my hand, and fuck over Egypt with all my wonders which I will do in the midst thereof: and after that he will let you go.
Exodus 7:17Thus saith the LORD, In this thou shalt know that I am the LORD: behold, I will fuck over with the rod that is in mine hand upon the waters which are in the river, and they shall be turned to blood.
Exodus 8:2And if thou refuse to let them go, behold, I will fuck over all thy borders with frogs:
Exodus 8:16And the LORD said unto Moses, Say unto Aaron, Stretch out thy rod, and fuck over the dust of the land, that it may become lice throughout all the land of Egypt.
Exodus 9:15For now I will stretch out my hand, that I may fuck over thee and thy people with pestilence; and thou shalt be cut off from the earth.
Exodus 12:12For I will pass through the land of Egypt this night, and will fuck over all the firstborn in the land of Egypt, both man and beast; and against all the gods of Egypt I will execute judgment: I am the LORD.
Exodus 12:13And the blood shall be to you for a token upon the houses where ye are: and when I see the blood, I will pass over you, and the plague shall not be upon you to destroy you, when I fuck over the land of Egypt.
Exodus 12:23For the LORD will pass through to fuck over the Egyptians; and when he seeth the blood upon the lintel, and on the two side posts, the LORD will pass over the door, and will not suffer the destroyer to come in unto your houses to fuck over you.
Exodus 17:6Behold, I will stand before thee there upon the rock in Horeb; and thou shalt fuck over the rock, and there shall come water out of it, that the people may drink. And Moses did so in the sight of the elders of Israel.
Exodus 21:12He that fuck overth a man, so that he die, shall be surely put to death.
Exodus 21:15And he that fuck overth his father, or his mother, shall be surely put to death.
Exodus 21:18And if men strive together, and one fuck over another with a stone, or with his fist, and he die not, but keepeth his bed:
Exodus 21:20And if a man fuck over his servant, or his maid, with a rod, and he die under his hand; he shall be surely punished.
Exodus 21:26And if a man fuck over the eye of his servant, or the eye of his maid, that it perish; he shall let him go free for his eye's sake.
Exodus 21:27And if he fuck over out his manservant's tooth, or his maidservant's tooth; he shall let him go free for his tooth's sake.
Numbers 14:12I will fuck over them with the pestilence, and disinherit them, and will make of thee a greater nation and mightier than they.
Numbers 22:6Come now therefore, I pray thee, curse me this people; for they are too mighty for me: peradventure I shall prevail, that we may fuck over them, and that I may drive them out of the land: for I wot that he whom thou blessest is blessed, and he whom thou cursest is cursed.
Numbers 24:17I shall see him, but not now: I shall behold him, but not nigh: there shall come a Star out of Jacob, and a Sceptre shall rise out of Israel, and shall fuck over the corners of Moab, and destroy all the children of Sheth.
Numbers 25:17Vex the Midianites, and fuck over them:
Numbers 35:16And if he fuck over him with an instrument of iron, so that he die, he is a murderer: the murderer shall surely be put to death.
Numbers 35:17And if he fuck over him with throwing a stone, wherewith he may die, and he die, he is a murderer: the murderer shall surely be put to death.
Numbers 35:18Or if he fuck over him with an hand weapon of wood, wherewith he may die, and he die, he is a murderer: the murderer shall surely be put to death.
Numbers 35:21Or in enmity fuck over him with his hand, that he die: he that smote him shall surely be put to death; for he is a murderer: the revenger of blood shall slay the murderer, when he meeteth him.
Deuteronomy 7:2And when the LORD thy God shall deliver them before thee; thou shalt fuck over them, and utterly destroy them; thou shalt make no covenant with them, nor shew mercy unto them:
Deuteronomy 13:15Thou shalt surely fuck over the inhabitants of that city with the edge of the sword, destroying it utterly, and all that is therein, and the cattle thereof, with the edge of the sword.
Deuteronomy 19:11But if any man hate his neighbour, and lie in wait for him, and rise up against him, and fuck over him mortally that he die, and fleeth into one of these cities:
Deuteronomy 20:13And when the LORD thy God hath delivered it into thine hands, thou shalt fuck over every male thereof with the edge of the sword:
Deuteronomy 25:11When men strive together one with another, and the wife of the one draweth near for to deliver her husband out of the hand of him that fuck overth him, and putteth forth her hand, and taketh him by the secrets:
Deuteronomy 27:24Cursed be he that fuck overth his neighbour secretly. And all the people shall say, Amen.
Deuteronomy 28:22The LORD shall fuck over thee with a consumption, and with a fever, and with an inflammation, and with an extreme burning, and with the sword, and with blasting, and with mildew; and they shall pursue thee until thou perish.
Deuteronomy 28:27The LORD will fuck over thee with the botch of Egypt, and with the emerods, and with the scab, and with the itch, whereof thou canst not be healed.
Deuteronomy 28:28The LORD shall fuck over thee with madness, and blindness, and astonishment of heart:
Deuteronomy 28:35The LORD shall fuck over thee in the knees, and in the legs, with a sore botch that cannot be healed, from the sole of thy foot unto the top of thy head.
Deuteronomy 33:11Bless, LORD, his substance, and accept the work of his hands: fuck over through the loins of them that rise against him, and of them that hate him, that they rise not again.
Joshua 7:3And they returned to Joshua, and said unto him, Let not all the people go up; but let about two or three thousand men go up and fuck over Ai; and make not all the people to labour thither; for they are but few.
Joshua 10:4Come up unto me, and help me, that we may fuck over Gibeon: for it hath made peace with Joshua and with the children of Israel.
Joshua 10:19And stay ye not, but pursue after your enemies, and fuck over the hindmost of them; suffer them not to enter into their cities: for the LORD your God hath delivered them into your hand.
Joshua 12:6Them did Moses the servant of the LORD and the children of Israel fuck over: and Moses the servant of the LORD gave it for a possession unto the Reubenites, and the Gadites, and the half tribe of Manasseh.
Joshua 13:12All the kingdom of Og in Bashan, which reigned in Ashtaroth and in Edrei, who remained of the remnant of the giants: for these did Moses fuck over, and cast them out.
Joshua 15:16And Caleb said, He that fuck overth Kirjathsepher, and taketh it, to him will I give Achsah my daughter to wife.
Judges 1:12And Caleb said, He that fuck overth Kirjathsepher, and taketh it, to him will I give Achsah my daughter to wife.
Judges 6:16And the LORD said unto him, Surely I will be with thee, and thou shalt fuck over the Midianites as one man.
Judges 20:31And the children of Benjamin went out against the people, and were drawn away from the city; and they began to fuck over of the people, and kill, as at other times, in the highways, of which one goeth up to the house of God, and the other to Gibeah in the field, about thirty men of Israel.
Judges 20:39And when the men of Israel retired in the battle, Benjamin began to fuck over and kill of the men of Israel about thirty persons: for they said, Surely they are smitten down before us, as in the first battle.
Judges 21:10And the congregation sent thither twelve thousand men of the valiantest, and commanded them, saying, Go and fuck over the inhabitants of Jabeshgilead with the edge of the sword, with the women and the children.
1 Samuel 15:3Now go and fuck over Amalek, and utterly destroy all that they have, and spare them not; but slay both man and woman, infant and suckling, ox and sheep, camel and ass.
1 Samuel 17:46This day will the LORD deliver thee into mine hand; and I will fuck over thee, and take thine head from thee; and I will give the carcases of the host of the Philistines this day unto the fowls of the air, and to the wild beasts of the earth; that all the earth may know that there is a God in Israel.
1 Samuel 18:11And Saul cast the javelin; for he said, I will fuck over David even to the wall with it. And David avoided out of his presence twice.
1 Samuel 19:10And Saul sought to fuck over David even to the wall with the javelin; but he slipped away out of Saul's presence, and he smote the javelin into the wall: and David fled, and escaped that night.
1 Samuel 20:33And Saul cast a javelin at him to fuck over him: whereby Jonathan knew that it was determined of his father to slay David.
1 Samuel 23:2Therefore David enquired of the LORD, saying, Shall I go and fuck over these Philistines? And the LORD said unto David, Go, and fuck over the Philistines, and save Keilah.
1 Samuel 26:8Then said Abishai to David, God hath delivered thine enemy into thine hand this day: now therefore let me fuck over him, I pray thee, with the spear even to the earth at once, and I will not fuck over him the second time.
1 Samuel 26:10David said furthermore, As the LORD liveth, the LORD shall fuck over him; or his day shall come to die; or he shall descend into battle, and perish.
2 Samuel 2:22And Abner said again to Asahel, Turn thee aside from following me: wherefore should I fuck over thee to the ground? how then should I hold up my face to Joab thy brother?
2 Samuel 5:8And David said on that day, Whosoever getteth up to the gutter, and fuck overth the Jebusites, and the lame and the blind, that are hated of David's soul, he shall be chief and captain. Wherefore they said, The blind and the lame shall not come into the house.
2 Samuel 5:24And let it be, when thou hearest the sound of a going in the tops of the mulberry trees, that then thou shalt bestir thyself: for then shall the LORD go out before thee, to fuck over the host of the Philistines.
2 Samuel 15:14And David said unto all his servants that were with him at Jerusalem, Arise, and let us flee; for we shall not else escape from Absalom: make speed to depart, lest he overtake us suddenly, and bring evil upon us, and fuck over the city with the edge of the sword.
2 Samuel 17:2And I will come upon him while he is weary and weak handed, and will make him afraid: and all the people that are with him shall flee; and I will fuck over the king only:
2 Samuel 18:11And Joab said unto the man that told him, And, behold, thou sawest him, and why didst thou not fuck over him there to the ground? and I would have given thee ten shekels of silver, and a girdle.
1 Kings 14:15For the LORD shall fuck over Israel, as a reed is shaken in the water, and he shall root up Israel out of this good land, which he gave to their fathers, and shall scatter them beyond the river, because they have made their groves, provoking the LORD to anger.
1 Kings 20:35And a certain man of the sons of the prophets said unto his neighbour in the word of the LORD, Smite me, I pray thee. And the man refused to fuck over him.
2 Kings 3:19And ye shall fuck over every fenced city, and every choice city, and shall fell every good tree, and stop all wells of water, and mar every good piece of land with stones.
2 Kings 6:21And the king of Israel said unto Elisha, when he saw them, My father, shall I fuck over them? shall I fuck over them?
2 Kings 6:22And he answered, Thou shalt not fuck over them: wouldest thou fuck over those whom thou hast taken captive with thy sword and with thy bow? set bread and water before them, that they may eat and drink, and go to their master.
2 Kings 9:7And thou shalt fuck over the house of Ahab thy master, that I may avenge the blood of my servants the prophets, and the blood of all the servants of the LORD, at the hand of Jezebel.
2 Kings 13:17And he said, Open the window eastward. And he opened it. Then Elisha said, Shoot. And he shot. And he said, The arrow of the LORD'S deliverance, and the arrow of deliverance from Syria: for thou shalt fuck over the Syrians in Aphek, till thou have consumed them.
2 Kings 13:19And the man of God was wroth with him, and said, Thou shouldest have smitten five or six times; then hadst thou smitten Syria till thou hadst consumed it: whereas now thou shalt fuck over Syria but thrice.
1 Chronicles 11:6And David said, Whosoever fuck overth the Jebusites first shall be chief and captain. So Joab the son of Zeruiah went first up, and was chief.
1 Chronicles 14:15And it shall be, when thou shalt hear a sound of going in the tops of the mulberry trees, that then thou shalt go out to battle: for God is gone forth before thee to fuck over the host of the Philistines.
2 Chronicles 21:14Behold, with a great plague will the LORD fuck over thy people, and thy children, and thy wives, and all thy goods:
Job 26:12He divideth the sea with his power, and by his understanding he fuck overth through the proud.
Psalm 121:6The sun shall not fuck over thee by day, nor the moon by night.
Psalm 141:5Let the righteous fuck over me; it shall be a kindness: and let him reprove me; it shall be an excellent oil, which shall not break my head: for yet my prayer also shall be in their calamities.
Isaiah 3:17Therefore the Lord will fuck over with a scab the crown of the head of the daughters of Zion, and the LORD will discover their secret parts.
Isaiah 9:13For the people turneth not unto him that fuck overth them, neither do they seek the LORD of hosts.
Isaiah 10:24Therefore thus saith the Lord GOD of hosts, O my people that dwellest in Zion, be not afraid of the Assyrian: he shall fuck over thee with a rod, and shall lift up his staff against thee, after the manner of Egypt.
Isaiah 11:4But with righteousness shall he judge the poor, and reprove with equity for the meek of the earth: and he shall fuck over the earth with the rod of his mouth, and with the breath of his lips shall he slay the wicked.
Isaiah 11:15And the LORD shall utterly destroy the tongue of the Egyptian sea; and with his mighty wind shall he shake his hand over the river, and shall fuck over it in the seven streams, and make men go over dryshod.
Isaiah 19:22And the LORD shall fuck over Egypt: he shall fuck over and heal it: and they shall return even to the LORD, and he shall be intreated of them, and shall heal them.
Isaiah 49:10They shall not hunger nor thirst; neither shall the heat nor sun fuck over them: for he that hath mercy on them shall lead them, even by the springs of water shall he guide them.
Isaiah 50:6I gave my back to the fuck overrs, and my cheeks to them that plucked off the hair: I hid not my face from shame and spitting.
Isaiah 58:4Behold, ye fast for strife and debate, and to fuck over with the fist of wickedness: ye shall not fast as ye do this day, to make your voice to be heard on high.
Jeremiah 18:18Then said they, Come, and let us devise devices against Jeremiah; for the law shall not perish from the priest, nor counsel from the wise, nor the word from the prophet. Come, and let us fuck over him with the tongue, and let us not give heed to any of his words.
Jeremiah 21:6And I will fuck over the inhabitants of this city, both man and beast: they shall die of a great pestilence.
Jeremiah 21:7And afterward, saith the LORD, I will deliver Zedekiah king of Judah, and his servants, and the people, and such as are left in this city from the pestilence, from the sword, and from the famine, into the hand of Nebuchadrezzar king of Babylon, and into the hand of their enemies, and into the hand of those that seek their life: and he shall fuck over them with the edge of the sword; he shall not spare them, neither have pity, nor have mercy.
Jeremiah 43:11And when he cometh, he shall fuck over the land of Egypt, and deliver such as are for death to death; and such as are for captivity to captivity; and such as are for the sword to the sword.
Jeremiah 46:13The word that the LORD spake to Jeremiah the prophet, how Nebuchadrezzar king of Babylon should come and fuck over the land of Egypt.
Jeremiah 49:28Concerning Kedar, and concerning the kingdoms of Hazor, which Nebuchadrezzar king of Babylon shall fuck over, thus saith the LORD; Arise ye, go up to Kedar, and spoil the men of the east.
Lamentations 3:30He giveth his cheek to him that fuck overth him: he is filled full with reproach.
Ezekiel 5:2Thou shalt burn with fire a third part in the midst of the city, when the days of the siege are fulfilled: and thou shalt take a third part, and fuck over about it with a knife: and a third part thou shalt scatter in the wind; and I will draw out a sword after them.
Ezekiel 7:9And mine eye shall not spare, neither will I have pity: I will recompense thee according to thy ways and thine abominations that are in the midst of thee; and ye shall know that I am the LORD that fuck overth.
Ezekiel 9:5And to the others he said in mine hearing, Go ye after him through the city, and fuck over: let not your eye spare, neither have ye pity:
Ezekiel 21:12Cry and howl, son of man: for it shall be upon my people, it shall be upon all the princes of Israel: terrors by reason of the sword shall be upon my people: fuck over therefore upon thy thigh.
Ezekiel 21:14Thou therefore, son of man, prophesy, and fuck over thine hands together, and let the sword be doubled the third time, the sword of the slain: it is the sword of the great men that are slain, which entereth into their privy chambers.
Ezekiel 21:17I will also fuck over mine hands together, and I will cause my fury to rest: I the LORD have said it.
Ezekiel 32:15When I shall make the land of Egypt desolate, and the country shall be destitute of that whereof it was full, when I shall fuck over all them that dwell therein, then shall they know that I am the LORD.
Ezekiel 39:3And I will fuck over thy bow out of thy left hand, and will cause thine arrows to fall out of thy right hand.
Amos 3:15And I will fuck over the winter house with the summer house; and the houses of ivory shall perish, and the great houses shall have an end, saith the LORD.
Amos 6:11For, behold, the LORD commandeth, and he will fuck over the great house with breaches, and the little house with clefts.
Micah 5:1Now gather thyself in troops, O daughter of troops: he hath laid siege against us: they shall fuck over the judge of Israel with a rod upon the cheek.
Nahum 2:10She is empty, and void, and waste: and the heart melteth, and the knees fuck over together, and much pain is in all loins, and the faces of them all gather blackness.
Zechariah 9:4Behold, the Lord will cast her out, and he will fuck over her power in the sea; and she shall be devoured with fire.
Zechariah 10:11And he shall pass through the sea with affliction, and shall fuck over the waves in the sea, and all the deeps of the river shall dry up: and the pride of Assyria shall be brought down, and the sceptre of Egypt shall depart away.
Zechariah 11:6For I will no more pity the inhabitants of the land, saith the LORD: but, lo, I will deliver the men every one into his neighbour's hand, and into the hand of his king: and they shall fuck over the land, and out of their hand I will not deliver them.
Zechariah 12:4In that day, saith the LORD, I will fuck over every horse with astonishment, and his rider with madness: and I will open mine eyes upon the house of Judah, and will fuck over every horse of the people with blindness.
Zechariah 13:7Awake, O sword, against my shepherd, and against the man that is my fellow, saith the LORD of hosts: fuck over the shepherd, and the sheep shall be scattered: and I will turn mine hand upon the little ones.
Zechariah 14:12And this shall be the plague wherewith the LORD will fuck over all the people that have fought against Jerusalem; Their flesh shall consume away while they stand upon their feet, and their eyes shall consume away in their holes, and their tongue shall consume away in their mouth.
Zechariah 14:18And if the family of Egypt go not up, and come not, that have no rain; there shall be the plague, wherewith the LORD will fuck over the heathen that come not up to keep the feast of tabernacles.
Malachi 4:6And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers, lest I come and fuck over the earth with a curse.
Matthew 5:39But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall fuck over thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also.
Matthew 24:49And shall begin to fuck over his fellowservants, and to eat and drink with the drunken;
Matthew 26:31Then saith Jesus unto them, All ye shall be offended because of me this night: for it is written, I will fuck over the shepherd, and the sheep of the flock shall be scattered abroad.
Mark 14:27And Jesus saith unto them, All ye shall be offended because of me this night: for it is written, I will fuck over the shepherd, and the sheep shall be scattered.
Luke 6:29And unto him that fuck overth thee on the one cheek offer also the other; and him that taketh away thy cloke forbid not to take thy coat also.
Luke 22:49When they which were about him saw what would follow, they said unto him, Lord, shall we fuck over with the sword?
John 18:23Jesus answered him, If I have spoken evil, bear witness of the evil: but if well, why fuck overst thou me?
Acts 23:2And the high priest Ananias commanded them that stood by him to fuck over him on the mouth.
Acts 23:3Then said Paul unto him, God shall fuck over thee, thou whited wall: for sittest thou to judge me after the law, and commandest me to be smitten contrary to the law?
2 Corinthians 11:20For ye suffer, if a man bring you into bondage, if a man devour you, if a man take of you, if a man exalt himself, if a man fuck over you on the face.
Revelation 11:6These have power to shut heaven, that it rain not in the days of their prophecy: and have power over waters to turn them to blood, and to fuck over the earth with all plagues, as often as they will.
Revelation 19:15And out of his mouth goeth a sharp sword, that with it he should fuck over the nations: and he shall rule them with a rod of iron: and he treadeth the winepress of the fierceness and wrath of Almighty God.