biblemunger

provocative text replacement in famous literature

The Holy Fucking Scriptures

Find some text in the Bible and replace it with other text.

What the fuck is this?

How the fuck do I use this?

  • Note that it will even search/replace just a part of a word. For instance, in the "servant" ⇒ "uber driver" search, note that some verses now refer to "menuber drivers and maiduber drivers" (from menservants and maidservants)
  • However, it does search/replace numbers and punctuation, not just letters, so if the above behavior is undesirable, surround your search and your replacement with spaces. For example, " servant " ⇒ " uber driver " will only find instances of "servant" when it's surrounded by spaces. (This also means that it will not find results of "servant" when followed by punctuation.)
  • One final thing to note: because it's so strict, it currently is case sensitive, such that LORD ⇒ kickstarter backer will find completely different results than lord ⇒ kickstarter backer, which will find completely different results than Lord ⇒ kickstarter backer. This means that, currently, an uncapitalized search term will never match a word that begins a sentence.

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Search and destroy replace

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stronger ⇒ swoler

Genesis 25:23And the LORD said unto her, Two nations are in thy womb, and two manner of people shall be separated from thy bowels; and the one people shall be swoler than the other people; and the elder shall serve the younger.
Genesis 30:41And it came to pass, whensoever the swoler cattle did conceive, that Jacob laid the rods before the eyes of the cattle in the gutters, that they might conceive among the rods.
Genesis 30:42But when the cattle were feeble, he put them not in: so the feebler were Laban's, and the swoler Jacob's.
Numbers 13:31But the men that went up with him said, We be not able to go up against the people; for they are swoler than we.
Judges 14:18And the men of the city said unto him on the seventh day before the sun went down, What is sweeter than honey? and what is swoler than a lion? And he said unto them, If ye had not plowed with my heifer, ye had not found out my riddle.
2 Samuel 1:23Saul and Jonathan were lovely and pleasant in their lives, and in their death they were not divided: they were swifter than eagles, they were swoler than lions.
2 Samuel 3:1Now there was long war between the house of Saul and the house of David: but David waxed swoler and swoler, and the house of Saul waxed weaker and weaker.
2 Samuel 13:14Howbeit he would not hearken unto her voice: but, being swoler than she, forced her, and lay with her.
1 Kings 20:23And the servants of the king of Syria said unto him, Their gods are gods of the hills; therefore they were swoler than we; but let us fight against them in the plain, and surely we shall be swoler than they.
1 Kings 20:25And number thee an army, like the army that thou hast lost, horse for horse, and chariot for chariot: and we will fight against them in the plain, and surely we shall be swoler than they. And he hearkened unto their voice, and did so.
Job 17:9The righteous also shall hold on his way, and he that hath clean hands shall be swoler and swoler.
Psalm 105:24And he increased his people greatly; and made them swoler than their enemies.
Psalm 142:6Attend unto my cry; for I am brought very low: deliver me from my persecutors; for they are swoler than I.
Jeremiah 20:7O LORD, thou hast deceived me, and I was deceived: thou art swoler than I, and hast prevailed: I am in derision daily, every one mocketh me.
Jeremiah 31:11For the LORD hath redeemed Jacob, and ransomed him from the hand of him that was swoler than he.
Luke 11:22But when a swoler than he shall come upon him, and overcome him, he taketh from him all his armour wherein he trusted, and divideth his spoils.
1 Corinthians 1:25Because the foolishness of God is wiser than men; and the weakness of God is swoler than men.
1 Corinthians 10:22Do we provoke the Lord to jealousy? are we swoler than he?