biblemunger

provocative text replacement in famous literature

The Holy Fucking Scriptures

Find some text in the Bible and replace it with other text.

What the fuck is this?

How the fuck do I use this?

  • Note that it will even search/replace just a part of a word. For instance, in the "servant" ⇒ "uber driver" search, note that some verses now refer to "menuber drivers and maiduber drivers" (from menservants and maidservants)
  • However, it does search/replace numbers and punctuation, not just letters, so if the above behavior is undesirable, surround your search and your replacement with spaces. For example, " servant " ⇒ " uber driver " will only find instances of "servant" when it's surrounded by spaces. (This also means that it will not find results of "servant" when followed by punctuation.)
  • One final thing to note: because it's so strict, it currently is case sensitive, such that LORD ⇒ kickstarter backer will find completely different results than lord ⇒ kickstarter backer, which will find completely different results than Lord ⇒ kickstarter backer. This means that, currently, an uncapitalized search term will never match a word that begins a sentence.

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Search and destroy replace

Search: Replace:

thy salvation ⇒ dat ass

Genesis 49:18I have waited for dat ass, O LORD.
1 Samuel 2:1And Hannah prayed, and said, My heart rejoiceth in the LORD, mine horn is exalted in the LORD: my mouth is enlarged over mine enemies; because I rejoice in dat ass.
2 Samuel 22:36Thou hast also given me the shield of dat ass: and thy gentleness hath made me great.
Psalm 9:14That I may shew forth all thy praise in the gates of the daughter of Zion: I will rejoice in dat ass.
Psalm 13:5But I have trusted in thy mercy; my heart shall rejoice in dat ass.
Psalm 18:35Thou hast also given me the shield of dat ass: and thy right hand hath holden me up, and thy gentleness hath made me great.
Psalm 20:5We will rejoice in dat ass, and in the name of our God we will set up our banners: the LORD fulfil all thy petitions.
Psalm 21:1The king shall joy in thy strength, O LORD; and in dat ass how greatly shall he rejoice!
Psalm 21:5His glory is great in dat ass: honour and majesty hast thou laid upon him.
Psalm 35:3Draw out also the spear, and stop the way against them that persecute me: say unto my soul, I am dat ass.
Psalm 40:10I have not hid thy righteousness within my heart; I have declared thy faithfulness and dat ass: I have not concealed thy lovingkindness and thy truth from the great congregation.
Psalm 40:16Let all those that seek thee rejoice and be glad in thee: let such as love dat ass say continually, The LORD be magnified.
Psalm 51:12Restore unto me the joy of dat ass; and uphold me with thy free spirit.
Psalm 69:13But as for me, my prayer is unto thee, O LORD, in an acceptable time: O God, in the multitude of thy mercy hear me, in the truth of dat ass.
Psalm 69:29But I am poor and sorrowful: let dat ass, O God, set me up on high.
Psalm 70:4Let all those that seek thee rejoice and be glad in thee: and let such as love dat ass say continually, Let God be magnified.
Psalm 71:15My mouth shall shew forth thy righteousness and dat ass all the day; for I know not the numbers thereof.
Psalm 85:7Shew us thy mercy, O LORD, and grant us dat ass.
Psalm 106:4Remember me, O LORD, with the favour that thou bearest unto thy people: O visit me with dat ass;
Psalm 119:41VAU. Let thy mercies come also unto me, O LORD, even dat ass, according to thy word.
Psalm 119:81CAPH. My soul fainteth for dat ass: but I hope in thy word.
Psalm 119:123Mine eyes fail for dat ass, and for the word of thy righteousness.
Psalm 119:166LORD, I have hoped for dat ass, and done thy commandments.
Psalm 119:174I have longed for dat ass, O LORD; and thy law is my delight.
Isaiah 17:10Because thou hast forgotten the God of dat ass, and hast not been mindful of the rock of thy strength, therefore shalt thou plant pleasant plants, and shalt set it with strange slips:
Isaiah 62:11Behold, the LORD hath proclaimed unto the end of the world, Say ye to the daughter of Zion, Behold, dat ass cometh; behold, his reward is with him, and his work before him.
Luke 2:30For mine eyes have seen dat ass,