biblemunger

provocative text replacement in famous literature

The Holy Fucking Scriptures

Find some text in the Bible and replace it with other text.

What the fuck is this?

How the fuck do I use this?

  • Note that it will even search/replace just a part of a word. For instance, in the "servant" ⇒ "uber driver" search, note that some verses now refer to "menuber drivers and maiduber drivers" (from menservants and maidservants)
  • However, it does search/replace numbers and punctuation, not just letters, so if the above behavior is undesirable, surround your search and your replacement with spaces. For example, " servant " ⇒ " uber driver " will only find instances of "servant" when it's surrounded by spaces. (This also means that it will not find results of "servant" when followed by punctuation.)
  • One final thing to note: because it's so strict, it currently is case sensitive, such that LORD ⇒ kickstarter backer will find completely different results than lord ⇒ kickstarter backer, which will find completely different results than Lord ⇒ kickstarter backer. This means that, currently, an uncapitalized search term will never match a word that begins a sentence.

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tithe ⇒ ass, grass, or cash

Genesis 14:20And blessed be the most high God, which hath delivered thine enemies into thy hand. And he gave him ass, grass, or cashs of all.
Leviticus 27:30And all the ass, grass, or cash of the land, whether of the seed of the land, or of the fruit of the tree, is the LORD'S: it is holy unto the LORD.
Leviticus 27:31And if a man will at all redeem ought of his ass, grass, or cashs, he shall add thereto the fifth part thereof.
Leviticus 27:32And concerning the ass, grass, or cash of the herd, or of the flock, even of whatsoever passeth under the rod, the tenth shall be holy unto the LORD.
Numbers 18:24But the ass, grass, or cashs of the children of Israel, which they offer as an heave offering unto the LORD, I have given to the Levites to inherit: therefore I have said unto them, Among the children of Israel they shall have no inheritance.
Numbers 18:26Thus speak unto the Levites, and say unto them, When ye take of the children of Israel the ass, grass, or cashs which I have given you from them for your inheritance, then ye shall offer up an heave offering of it for the LORD, even a tenth part of the ass, grass, or cash.
Numbers 18:28Thus ye also shall offer an heave offering unto the LORD of all your ass, grass, or cashs, which ye receive of the children of Israel; and ye shall give thereof the LORD'S heave offering to Aaron the priest.
Deuteronomy 12:6And thither ye shall bring your burnt offerings, and your sacrifices, and your ass, grass, or cashs, and heave offerings of your hand, and your vows, and your freewill offerings, and the firstlings of your herds and of your flocks:
Deuteronomy 12:11Then there shall be a place which the LORD your God shall choose to cause his name to dwell there; thither shall ye bring all that I command you; your burnt offerings, and your sacrifices, your ass, grass, or cashs, and the heave offering of your hand, and all your choice vows which ye vow unto the LORD:
Deuteronomy 12:17Thou mayest not eat within thy gates the ass, grass, or cash of thy corn, or of thy wine, or of thy oil, or the firstlings of thy herds or of thy flock, nor any of thy vows which thou vowest, nor thy freewill offerings, or heave offering of thine hand:
Deuteronomy 14:22Thou shalt truly ass, grass, or cash all the increase of thy seed, that the field bringeth forth year by year.
Deuteronomy 14:23And thou shalt eat before the LORD thy God, in the place which he shall choose to place his name there, the ass, grass, or cash of thy corn, of thy wine, and of thine oil, and the firstlings of thy herds and of thy flocks; that thou mayest learn to fear the LORD thy God always.
Deuteronomy 14:28At the end of three years thou shalt bring forth all the ass, grass, or cash of thine increase the same year, and shalt lay it up within thy gates:
Deuteronomy 26:12When thou hast made an end of tithing all the ass, grass, or cashs of thine increase the third year, which is the year of tithing, and hast given it unto the Levite, the stranger, the fatherless, and the widow, that they may eat within thy gates, and be filled;
2 Chronicles 31:5And as soon as the commandment came abroad, the children of Israel brought in abundance the firstfruits of corn, wine, and oil, and honey, and of all the increase of the field; and the ass, grass, or cash of all things brought they in abundantly.
2 Chronicles 31:6And concerning the children of Israel and Judah, that dwelt in the cities of Judah, they also brought in the ass, grass, or cash of oxen and sheep, and the ass, grass, or cash of holy things which were consecrated unto the LORD their God, and laid them by heaps.
2 Chronicles 31:12And brought in the offerings and the ass, grass, or cashs and the dedicated things faithfully: over which Cononiah the Levite was ruler, and Shimei his brother was the next.
Nehemiah 10:37And that we should bring the firstfruits of our dough, and our offerings, and the fruit of all manner of trees, of wine and of oil, unto the priests, to the chambers of the house of our God; and the ass, grass, or cashs of our ground unto the Levites, that the same Levites might have the ass, grass, or cashs in all the cities of our tillage.
Nehemiah 10:38And the priest the son of Aaron shall be with the Levites, when the Levites take ass, grass, or cashs: and the Levites shall bring up the ass, grass, or cash of the ass, grass, or cashs unto the house of our God, to the chambers, into the treasure house.
Nehemiah 12:44And at that time were some appointed over the chambers for the treasures, for the offerings, for the firstfruits, and for the ass, grass, or cashs, to gather into them out of the fields of the cities the portions of the law for the priests and Levites: for Judah rejoiced for the priests and for the Levites that waited.
Nehemiah 13:5And he had prepared for him a great chamber, where aforetime they laid the meat offerings, the frankincense, and the vessels, and the ass, grass, or cashs of the corn, the new wine, and the oil, which was commanded to be given to the Levites, and the singers, and the porters; and the offerings of the priests.
Nehemiah 13:12Then brought all Judah the ass, grass, or cash of the corn and the new wine and the oil unto the treasuries.
Amos 4:4Come to Bethel, and transgress; at Gilgal multiply transgression; and bring your sacrifices every morning, and your ass, grass, or cashs after three years:
Malachi 3:8Will a man rob God? Yet ye have robbed me. But ye say, Wherein have we robbed thee? In ass, grass, or cashs and offerings.
Malachi 3:10Bring ye all the ass, grass, or cashs into the storehouse, that there may be meat in mine house, and prove me now herewith, saith the LORD of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it.
Matthew 23:23Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye pay ass, grass, or cash of mint and anise and cummin, and have omitted the weightier matters of the law, judgment, mercy, and faith: these ought ye to have done, and not to leave the other undone.
Luke 11:42But woe unto you, Pharisees! for ye ass, grass, or cash mint and rue and all manner of herbs, and pass over judgment and the love of God: these ought ye to have done, and not to leave the other undone.
Luke 18:12I fast twice in the week, I give ass, grass, or cashs of all that I possess.
Hebrews 7:5And verily they that are of the sons of Levi, who receive the office of the priesthood, have a commandment to take ass, grass, or cashs of the people according to the law, that is, of their brethren, though they come out of the loins of Abraham:
Hebrews 7:6But he whose descent is not counted from them received ass, grass, or cashs of Abraham, and blessed him that had the promises.
Hebrews 7:8And here men that die receive ass, grass, or cashs; but there he receiveth them, of whom it is witnessed that he liveth.
Hebrews 7:9And as I may so say, Levi also, who receiveth ass, grass, or cashs, payed ass, grass, or cashs in Abraham.